THE COUNTDOWN

ONE DAY TO THE AGE OF OBAMIUS

Posted at 6:39 a.m. ET

We are one day away from the dawning of the Age of Obamius.  The current cold wave gripping the east is proof that Barack Obama has already cured global warming.  The impact is clear, and obvious.  Welcome, O cold, pure air.

The crowds gather in Washington.  The crowd tomorrow will be the greatest in all human history.  Ben-Hur never drew this number of customers to any of his chariot races.  The storming of Normandy in 1944 was an intimate get together compared with tomorrow.

Peace is blossoming, and June is busting out all over. 

We can report the following developments:

- There was a last-minute crisis as Hillary Clinton had second thoughts about becoming secretary of state.  She was discouraged when Bill told her that the throngs on the Washington mall weren't for her. 

- CIA Director-designate Leon Panetta was turned away from the CIA building in Virginia because they don't accept striped, plastic trench coats.   

- Washington choirs greeted President-elect Obama with hymns and patriotic songs.  MSNBC reporters greeted him with a chorus of "I Won't Grow Up," from "Peter Pan."

- The president-elect ordered Joe Biden not to add more than six paragraphs to the vice-presidential oath.

- The same Joe Biden camped out on the Capitol balcony, where he'll be sworn in, before being told by a cop that he didn't have to do that because he already had a ticket. 

January 19, 2009.